DO WHAT YOU LOVE
When I used to go on Tik Tok, I always laughed at the videos meming on art majors. They would be short video skits, with homework for art majors being compared to an engineering major. I held a similar interest to these “more demanding” STEM subjects, which was astrophysics, and these videos were always fun to poke fun at. My major felt reinforced and held to a high standard.
Months later, where I am today, I can confidently say that I receive the opposite end to this meme. I’ve decided that I am going to pursue film production over astrophysics.
For my WP3, I will separate it into three parts. In Part 1, I will be talking about how I am a creative, artistic, and expressive person, and how I have been able to express this personality through different mediums. Then, in Part 2, I would like to touch upon how this realization has affected my life and my goals. Finally, Part 3 will be about my thoughts and philosophy regarding my story and how others can learn from it.
Part 1
From my experience with art, I learned that I’m a visual thinker and creative person.
It was one project in my junior year where I realized how I truly flourish in a creative environment. The details of the project are not important, but my process throughout its creation is. When I started the piece, I had no clear end goal, only the drive to create. So I started with a line. I thought, “wouldn’t it look good if there was another line over here.” Then I added a second line. Eventually, another idea after another, my piece was finished. Astonished at what I just created, I quickly realized how I’m able to approach art unlike any other subject. I don’t have to follow any rules, or even know what I want to do, I can just allow my mind to function freely and create.
Through public speaking, I’m able to encapsulate all of the wonderful nuances in vocal expression and project my voice. Many moments amounted to these encapsulations, including student leader positions or any in class presentations. There was one instance in my senior year, however, that stood out to me. Recognized as a strong speaker, I was chosen by my school to provide a public testimony at a district meeting. There, I directly addressed the district board about the need for further adoption of ethnic studies courses in South Seattle schools. As I delivered my speech, I felt right at home, being able to form and project my ideas creatively, similar to art, but this time through the form of spoken word.
My creativity is also shown through film. After purchasing my own camera in junior year, I quickly made use of it for YouTube and school projects. I was able to write, produce, and direct my own music video for an AP Chem project. While most students chose to do some kind of lab, I was one of the few to pursue a creative project. I fell in love with the production and behind the scenes of film and video. Determined to continue creating more, I make use of every school break I can to create YouTube videos for my friends and family to see. With film and video production, I can craft together something truly special. Only with a camera and my own mind, I’m able to imagine, create, and entertain others.
Altogether, art, speech, and film, converge into my greatest personal strength-my creative drive. Essentially, this trait of mine is my “spike,” because it’s my most practiced and perfected strength. In each of these mediums, there exists some sort of creativity or expression.
Part 2
However, the main conflict in my story was this: I wanted to become a scientific researcher in astrophysics. I would like to elaborate on the juxtaposition between this aspiration vs. my “spike.” There are two main reasons why these contradict each other.
The first one is how drastically different the subjects are. Art, speech, and film, involve visual or vocal creativity, emotion, and expression. Astrophysics, however, is approached differently. It involves logical, mathematical, and grounded thinking. This kind of thinking applies to any STEM subject, and this idea was prevalent throughout high school, where I took on creative projects much better than STEM projects.
Secondly, my “spike” had been put into practice constantly while astrophysics hadn’t. This was spoken upon in my WP1, where I had chosen to focus on film more than physics during early quarantine. To relate it back to my earlier body paragraphs, my classes throughout high school would often present the option to do an assignment in two ways. I would always choose the more creative option.
In short, my creative, artist, and expressive side performs not only more often, but much stronger than my logical, mathematical, and grounded thinking side. This is where my WP1 would take place, as it tells how film, specifically (as opposed to art or speech), pushed me to realize this conflict.
Becoming an astrophysicist was simply a fantasy of mine, but I was unable to make this distinction from reality. It took me a long time to realize, unfortunately, but who I aspired to be was a contradiction to who I was — a creative, artistic, and expressive person. I simply loved the idea of being an astrophysicist, but I didn’t love the process of becoming one. With film, however, it’s something that I continue to practice in every spare moment I have.
That being said, I plan to apply to USC Cinematic Arts as a Film & TV Production major. The application process will be grueling, but I’m completely up for this challenge. I’m glad to have finally decided. I know I can truly utilize my “spike” with this major.
Part 3
Furthermore, I would like to provide my thoughts and philosophy regarding my story. To begin, I want to express my feelings these past few months. One of the biggest feelings I had felt was doubt. Doubt that I didn’t like astrophysics. Doubt that I should pursue film. Doubt that I could do STEM. Doubt that I was smart. These doubts lingered in my mind for months. There was one important instance where these doubts were challenged. Not by me, wholly, but with the assistance of some close friends.
It was a month into the Fall 2020 semester, and I was scheduled to have a 1 on 1 interview with my PHYS190 instructor. Going into it, I was under the impression that the meeting was about the class itself and my thoughts. I was very wrong. I was asked personal questions, including my recreational experience with physics and astronomy. I could feel the doubt lingering over me again. I knew that I didn’t have a lot of experience, yet I was still pursuing this major. Finishing the interview, and after giving some probably disappointing answers, I quickly closed my laptop and met up with my friends for lunch. I told them about the meeting, which then led to me telling them about my whole dilemma regarding my major. This was the first time I had ever opened up about it. When I told them I might not be interested in astrophysics anymore, they asked me “then what are you interested in majoring?”
“Film,” I responded. I was watching the reactions on their faces. I could see each of them begin to smile as they replied.
“Oh, I’m not even surprised. Film suits you. I feel like this should’ve been your major since the beginning, considering all of the things you’ve done with film already.”
Immediately, I felt a sense of validation. Hearing their response made me more confident with myself. I learned that these doubts only existed within me. My friends were a huge help in my struggle, as they talked with me about these doubts and set my mind straight. Talking to others and hearing their perspective on my character really helped me realize who I wanted to be.
An important idea and condition regarding my story came up during a conversation with another close friend of mine just last month. After telling him about my decision to pursue film, he told me that he was thinking about doing the same. The idea birthed was this: one who is an avid consumer for something does not necessarily mean they should produce it. This relates to the conversation because though my friend loves and studies films, he does not have a passion for producing them. Not to say that he can’t or won’t grow that passion, but he just hasn’t had that experience yet. In this moment, I realized that my WP1 was flawed. Here’s why. In my WP1, I only talked about my passion for studying film, but I had not touched upon my relationship with film and video production. Going off my WP1, one could assume that because I enjoy studying film, I would pursue a film studies major. However, and while film studies is an important aspect of filmmaking, I have a greater passion involved within the production of film, which I present in earlier parts of my WP3. The distinction and translation between passion and major is important to note when deciding what to major.
There is more to choosing a major, however. My thoughts and ideas are not universal, because many who have no experience with their major continue to graduate with no complaints. One who has no initial passion for coding can still major in computer science and still succeed. This is because their personality and their academic strengths work well together with their major. In my case, for example, because I know my personal strengths and traits, I could probably major in interior design. Although I have no experience or interest with interior design, I know that I’m a creative and visual thinker, and this comes hand in hand with the subject. While this idea is a bit of a contrast to my previous one, it still is a crucial component when deciding a major. Make sure you know who you know important aspects about yourself. Know how your mind functions and your specialties.
I would like to transition into how this all relates to the world and society. In brutal honesty, my high school did a terrible job at preparing me for my future. Specifically, there was no help with choosing the right college or major. When they ask what colleges or what major I was interested in, they never followed it up with why. It was always “ok cool, here are your next steps then.” It’s important to ask why, because it questions the student personally and intellectually. So many high schoolers don’t know what they want to do after high school, and the ones who claim to know actually don’t know as much as they thought. This idea is further reinforced by my experience and the experience among my peers. I think it’s frustrating that it took me until university to realize who I am and what I want to do.
I think this writing class, and humanities as a whole, played a huge part in my personal intellectual journey. This subject continues to educate me on myself as well as the world around me. Throughout high school, humanities was definitely my least favorite subject, for I was very bad at it and uninterested. However, this perspective has changed, as I realize how immersive and self-reflective this subject can be. I think high schools can do a better job of preparing students by emphasizing humanities to be more personal. These classes should ask complex and intellectual questions that help the student understand who they are.
Conclusion
In my self-discovery, I accepted who I was, which can be summarized as creative, artistic, and expressive. These traits were shown through art, speech, and film. Film stood out to me, as it is the most personal and experienced of the three mediums. My passion for film production motivates me to pursue a film production major, and I know that, unlike astrophysics, who I am is not a contradiction to the major.
To whomever reads this, if you feel passionate about something, pursue it. If you often spend time on something, master it. If you struggle to know who you are, find it.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE.
